the Mind’s Chew Toy

I saw this film at the local Hollywood Video®, and convinced Heather we should watch it. It wasn’t difficult to do, since we’ve both liked DMX’s last 3 films (Romeo Must Die (2000), Exit Wounds (2001)and Cradle 2 The Grave (2003)), so it was sure to be something we were going to enjoy.

Then we started watching it, and were dumbfounded. David Arquette (!) is the co-star? What could DMX have been thinking?

Despite that shocker, Heather and I stuck it out, hoping that DMX would be able to pull the movie off despite the Arquette handicap. Turns out, that was just the beginning of the troubles for Never Die Alone.

DMX is starting to get a little lost. He started off well in Romeo Must Die (2000)(with Jet Li and Aaliyah), then moved on to Exit Wounds (2001)and Cradle 2 The Grave (2003), teaming up with aging action star Steven Seagal and relative newcomer Jet Li (again), respectively.

Apparently, he’s decided he’s now big enough to carry a movie by himself, so decided to pick up a newcomer to the action business, Mr. David Arquette (who most people remember as the dork from the Scream films - and now of course as Mr. Courteney Cox). David apparently wants to be a cool action star himself, so probably jumped at the chance to star in a movie with DMX.

Now, to their acting. Surprise, surprise, David Arquette wasn’t all that good. I know, it’s quite a shocker, but I just don’t think he’s got what it takes to be an actor (you know, like acting skills).

DMX, who has shown in the past he can do more than just rap, just goes through the motions here. But like I said earlier, that’s only the beginning of the troubles for Never Die Alone.

The plot of Never Die Alone: interesting concept, bad conception, basically. Sums it up pretty well. It’s tough to start a movie with the main character being laid to rest (unless it’s a vampire or other undead-creature-flick, of course), as this film does. It does provide a nice hook for the viewer, though, since you’re wondering how he died.

Unfortunately, Never Die Alone proceeds to show the death scene almost instantly, so then you’ve already had your question answered.

The plot twists are so see-through they are non-existent, and you’ve already had most of your questions answered 15 minutes into the film. So why keep watching? Unfortunately, the bad dialogue, rather simple cinematography, and run-on scenes don’t really give you any reason to keep watching. You’ve already guessed why the man was killed, and the rest is all just filler.

The dialogue also doesn’t really help Never Die Alone. It’s almost as if Ernest (what a name), the Director, wants to show urban, but is from rural, so does the best he can to fake it - and fails miserably. It seems that the director is a wannabe gangster, but just can’t figure out how to go about actually being one. It’s kinda sad, and just a little pathetic to listen to the lines that come spewin’ from the mouths of the characters.

It’s definitely not DMX’s best work, that’s for sure. No wonder he couldn’t really get into the film. Oh yeah, and the voice-over gets real old, real quick.

All in all, Never Die Alone is a shining example of a typical David Arquette film. Not a lot of hype, a quick run in the theaters, then a rush to DVD to sit on the shelves and collect dust.

The only difference is this one helps tarnish DMX’s film career as well. Hopefully, DMX will be able to recover from the David Arquette effect and come back with something better, but who knows.

All in all, definitely not worth the rental.