the Mind’s Chew Toy

Heather had bought this movie a couple of months ago, but I had yet to see it. I had heard only a little about it (basically the tag line “I’ll never tell…” in a creepy voice, that was about it), but it seemed like it would be a decent movie, just by looking at the star power involved.

Big names abound, including leading man Douglas, as well as Oliver Platt, Famke Janssen (of X-Men (2000) and X2: X-Men United (2003)), Brittany Murphy, Sean Bean (of Patriot Games, The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring (2001) and Goldeneye) and Jennifer Esposito (who we recently saw in Taxi (2004)).

Had to be good with that much star power involved, right? Well….I would just have to watch and see.

Michael Douglas did a decent job in his role, but it was nowhere near the amazing performance he gave in The Game. He doesn’t do anything extra special here, instead relying on his past performances in a similar role to carry him through. No pizzazz whatsoever. Sean Bean also drops a bit from his great performance in Patriot Games, but still is able to manage a little bit of enthusiasm in his role. Jennifer Esposito, Famke Janssen and Oliver Platt are all basically just filler, not contributing much to the overall film.

And then there’s Brittany Murphy. If the viewer has seen almost any of her other films (Just Married, Little Black Book, Uptown Girls, etc.), they will probably be expecting her in another cheesy romantic comedy role. She does try to break from that pattern here, but doesn’t have any suspense experience to back her up, so slips up every once in awhile.

Her performance in this film is one of the main building blocks of the movie, and the filmmakers, unfortunately, relied on her untried dramatic presence to help carry the movie. She does manage to do a decently believable job at times, but at other times it’s almost as if she is trying to slip back into her normal role, but (almost) manages to catch herself in time. Sadly, not her best performance - and that’s really not saying much at all.

The plot was interesting - sort of Ransom meets psycho-drama, but the filmmakers slow down the pace a bit too much, dragging the story out through a bunch of obvious twists and turns. They easily could have put this film together in a much better way. As it is, the viewer will probably lose interest about a third of the way through the film, and stay detached throughout most of the rest.

The special effects (mood lighting, dead bodies and the like) were well done, with one glaring exception - a cave-in near the end of the film. This was obviously done on a sound stage, and a third grader (or someone with, say, 1982 technology) could have put the scene together. They easily could have worked on this scene, but instead chose not to, much to the viewer’s disappointment.

Don’t Say A Word. That must be what they hope critics will say about the film. Brittany’s first try at “real” acting is a flop - even with Michael Douglas’ help - but surprisingly, it’s not all her fault. Despite some help from Sean Bean, and a tiny bit of help from a lackluster Douglas, the movie abounds with faults, from it’s slow-moving pace to it’s lack of attention to detail and a rather sloppily wrapped-up ending (not to mention some horrific special effects near the end), all contribute to make Don’t Say A Word not something to write home about.

At least the first few minutes are interesting.

It’s still worth a cheap $1.00 store rental, but that’s about it.